An important moment in United States history occurred last night. Against all odds and in an environment so hostile it made Vietnam look like Aspen, the United States of America struck a killing blow against the encroaching jaws of the communist wasteland known as Canada.
Look as we all know, I have no love for the shitty of Boston. But the worst city in Amuurica is still better than the best city in Canada. That’s not just a saying in this case, Boston really is the worst city in the US and Vancouver is the best city in Canada. But all that aside, we fucking did it! Lord Stanley’s Cup will remain in the USA where it belongs. So celebrate, and know in your heart that for one more year the wildings from north of the wall have been kept at bay.
But even in our revelry we must remain vigilant. Even now the Canadians are marshaling their bear cavalry hoping to steal our cup.