I hate Michael Jordan. I hate his face. I hate his shoes. I hate the fact that I will never be able to be a Bulls fan because of him. I hate his Hitler mustache. There is nothing about the man that I find tolerable.
All I’ve heard this week is how Michael Jordan never lost an NBA finals series, and how MJ would never join a team with another superstar. Why would he? He had Scottie Pippen, who in his year without Jordan was an MVP candidate on a 55 win team! Without any supporting cast around him LeBron took the Cavs to the NBA finals in 2007. In his three years without Pippen MJ was 1-9 in the playoffs getting swept in back to back years.
Honestly though, it’s nothing on the court that makes me hate Jordan. He has as good of a case as anyone for being the greatest of all time when it comes to basketball. What I hate the most is that he is a horrible human being and people still love him.
Want to be like Mike?
Remember that old ad campaign? If I can be like Mike. Gatorade wants our kids to grow up to be egotistical assholes who punch their teammates, talk shit about their bosses, throw tantrums like a petulant child, cheat our their spouses, and illegally gamble with their money. Despite all that people love him. He should’ve replaced Charlie Sheen on 2.5 men. They could’ve kept the piece of shit, worthless human being that people love for no reason at all theme going.